drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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