don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
