So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
