I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
