You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My hand turned me down
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
