so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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