I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
