currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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