An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
