3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
