All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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