piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm both gender and math confused
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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