Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
