chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
