i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
