Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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