if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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