Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
