I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
