Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
