The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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