went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
