I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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