Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
