If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize