That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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