Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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