I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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