just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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