I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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