can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
