Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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