I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
