it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
