I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
