Sry I called you an 8
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
