Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need a beard to bite.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
