I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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