cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
