is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
