Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
