Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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