wanna go halves on a baby?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
