Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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