Who wears a wallet chain?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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