wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just tell him i said nine months
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
