just tell him i said nine months
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are we still banned from the library?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
50% drunk capacity currently
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
