I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
