My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
