She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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